Typical Frustration

Only the third day into the new year and I am already confronted by not knowing what to say. Not from a lack of thoughts on many different matters, but really feeling like a broken record. I’m not sure how much of the repeating is in my own head so that I am to the point where I have heard these ideas a million times or if I have been saying them out loud all along. There is nothing wrong with iteration, it is a beautiful thing, but iteration without some innovation gets rather boring after awhile.

Most of the time I don’t know what I am doing and I can’t be at all sure why certain things have worked and others don’t. I didn’t approach the fall semester with any plan of attack or specific goals in mind (well none besides to keep on drinking the real school kool-aide). During the fall semester I knew I was doing some things differently and some things the same, just don’t ask me what those things were. And honestly I am still astounded that I now care about learning the way I do, it is just strange. The fall semester messed up my focus in many ways and I have the sensation of a camera on auto-focus struggling to find the right balance, just zooming in and out, in and out. As the picture has grown larger and more complex just where to focus becomes even harder.

I just need a bit of clarity and some focus, but I’m not sure where to find it. Heck, I’m not sure what is so unclear and out of focus in the first place.

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2 Responses to “Typical Frustration”


  1. 1 Gardner January 3, 2008 at 11:46 pm

    Love that camera analogy. Sometimes I imagine I can actually feel my brain moving back-and-forth as it seeks that focal point. Not a pleasant sensation.

    But to continue the camera analogy a little longer, what are the options?

    1. A camera with better auto-focus.

    2. Different photographic subjects.

    3. Moving the photographer.

    You certainly don’t need any help from me to bring those ideas on home. Your comment on my “Structures and Emergence” post demonstrates that. 🙂

    Have you ever seen “Citizen Kane”? I love that bit where his guardian asks Kane what he knows about running a newspaper. “I don’t know anything about running a newspaper,” Kane replies. “I just try everything I can think of.”

  2. 2 sehauser January 4, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    @Gardner – Good continuation of the camera analogy, I’ve got some things to mull over. Great quote from Citzen Kane too, more stuff to think about. Thanks for the push.


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